NEXT.
The NEXT philosophy is really simple to understand. Anytime a dude or chick acts like a moron or disregards common courtesy when dating myself or one of my friends, my friend should lose his/her number and move the fuck on with their lives. Hence, NEXT.
See? Even Beyonce knows what I'm talking about. She's a self-empowerment unicorn.
Just to be clear, single friends: there is nothing wrong with you if you want someone who likes you to communicate with you on a regular basis, especially if he/she is sleeping with you. There is nothing wrong with you for wanting that person to spend time with you or invest in you. Most importantly, there is nothing wrong with feeling like your needs aren't being met and addressing those needs to the person you are boning or dating or in a relationship with. For example, if you've been dating someone for a while: "Hey, I let you kiss me. When I let you kiss me, I need you to at least text me 'What's up?' the next day or else I'll feel a little down." See? Not so hard.
Dating sometimes sucks. Let's be really honest. There is this ten minute period before I go on a date, especially on a first date, where I try to convince myself to cancel. It is helpless. According to Wikipedia, 3,500,026 people live in the greater Seattle metropolitan area. Half of that population is male (1,750,013). When you subtract out the percentages of straight, single men who I find attractive, who want to get married and have children one day, who are between the ages of 26 to 35 that I find attractive, who also find me attractive: I'm just fucking doomed. I might as well give up hope and find some cats or join a convent or something.
Alright, that was a dark path we just wandered down. BUT, we needed to go there for a moment to show that even the most confident and independent people in the world (aka me) sometimes doubt themselves. When I start feeling hopeless about dating, I remind myself that I like myself. I think I'm weird and awkward and funny and have great friends and great hair. No matter what a lame date holds, I will still have myself and be myself at the end of it. You should keep that in mind about yourself, too.
Take a page out of Barney Stinson's book. Know how awesome you are.
NEXT just tells you to keep living your life. Your life and your time are valuable to you. That is what is most important. Just because some guy you went out with or girl you've been dating decides they don't like you anymore; it doesn't mean your life is over. Go out. Have fun. Meet people. Make plans. Go on trips.Get drunk and make out with some random guy with green hair at a house party. Live YOUR life. Don't stress out about it. Just take care of yourself. The rest will come with time.
That being said, NEXT is also good for your own self-preservation. It keeps you from turning into the person who can't take a hint. It sucks when someone you like isn't as into you, but there is still behavior protocol. Don't stalk their social networking sites. Don't send multiple texts. Don't call over and over. Don't leave sad sounding voice mails. Don't send e-mails. Don't mail rambling letters. No one wants bone a desperate and needy person. No one wants to have to file a restraining order.
Don't be this person, ever. Don't call this person. Don't be friends with this person.
Most importantly, single friends, sometimes the last people you should take advice from are your married friends or people who have been in a long-term relationships. If they haven't dated outside of college; they have no concept of what dating with dignity is like as an adult. They will be the first to tell you to call or text all the time. They will also tell you to hold on hope longer than they should. They will fill your head full of romantic ideas that will not happen. Resist the urge to listen to them, even if it makes you feel better. And married people/LTR people: learn to tell your friend they are awesome and fine on all on their own. Just because you got married, doesn't mean your friend has to in order to be relevant.
One day, you will find someone who wants to get weird with you forever. And if you don't, there is always good friends, boxed wine and cats to fall back on.... I mean, a girl can dream.
