I always thought I wanted to settle down, get married, have some kidlets and buy a vacation home in Boca.... or some version of that reality. That being said, if the way to get to this is through online dating, I'd much sooner throw myself out of a window than continue go on dates with men that I meet online. Online dating makes me want to be alone for the rest of my life. The crazy, overly emotionally attached men (and I use that word very loosely) that I have encountered through my two year tenure of having profiles on various dating sites have made me want to join a convent. This will be a multi-part series that will examine the various types of awfulness and awkwardness I've encountered in my experience thus far.
To begin the saga, it all starts with picking different what dating site you are doing to expose yourself to. Let me break it down for you kindergarten style about what different sites really offer you. Let me name all the sites you can join off the top of my head:
Match.com
Plenty of Fish
OkCupid.com
Chemistry.com
eHarmony.com
Zoosk.com
JDate
CRAIGSLIST
You might be thinking: WHICH ONE DO I PICK?!?
No one will date you if you look like this, not even the crazy ones.
Relax! It's a lot like being five and trying to figure out which cereal to pick on the cereal aisle (but not at all). We've got this. Pour yourself a nice, large glass of wine and I will help walk you my interpretations of all the sites mentioned above.
We can all mutually agree that CRAIGSLIST is a bad idea, unless you're looking to get murdered, or unless you're into murderers. I hear that's a thing people are into. Did you hear about Charles Manson getting engaged?! Ladies, that is a whole another level of desperate that I don't have the time or the mental capacity to explore at the present moment. Plenty of Fish is a great site if you'd like to hook up with someone who can't spell and if you're okay with catching crabs. eHarmony had that old guy as its spokesperson for a bit when I was in high school, so I have always thought it was for retirees (maybe?). JDate is for Jews, literally. It's a Jewish dating site (Mazel!) and I've heard great things from those who have used it. OkCupid is my dating catastrophe of choice because it has really great usability in both its website and mobile site. Dating is stressful enough without knowing how to use the app or find what you're looking for. As far as Chemistry.com and Zoosk, I don't really know anyone who uses them so you're on your own if you try them out. If you happen to try either, or have tried them, please tell me everything I need to know about them.
File this under things that I actually worry about
At this point, I want to say that I'm actually kidding about my assessment of these sites (for the most part), but it is important to figure out which one you personally like to use. Online dating is hard enough without having to suffocate through the meaning of stars, winks, flirts and likes. This is important to remember because on top of dealing with all the users who will slowly drain your soul a little bit once you start to go on dates with them, you want to be able to navigate easily through the site and not let our membership fees cut into your online porn budget for the month.
First world problems, right?
Part 2, soon to follow.
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